What Dreams May Come

I’ve written a blog about lucid dreaming already but last night, I had the most wonderful dream…it actually started out non-lucid! I wouldn’t trade it for the world but I sure wish it was a reality and not just a fantasy. In it was a person I hold in very high regard – an actor, a sharp witted standup comedian and a philanthropist, as guileless as a child. If I tell you some of his best works, I won’t even have to tell you his name. The World according to Garp….Dead Poets Society….Good Will Hunting…..Patch Adams…Jumanji. In fact the title of this blog is also one of his movies! Yes, I’m talking about none other than Robin Williams. Although he isn’t with us anymore, he was very present in my dream and very much his usual self.

As I think back, the first ever movie I saw with him in it was Mrs Doubtfire. The caring father that he played in that movie reminded me so much of my own dad! Even in the movie you could see he was clearly fond of his kids and was an awesome father figure. Next up was Patch Adams and Dead Poets Society and by then he had a permanent place in my heart. Every role he played, there was an underlying current of kindness, humor and the ability to make you feel at ease. His ability to make people laugh and even if for a little while forget all their woes, shone through clearly in his work and his personality. His diction, his intellect and his skill to read a room to get the best out of his audience was stellar. He claimed that the stage performances took a lot out of him causing him to turn to drugs and alcohol. While he broke away from all this later in his life, his experience definitely gave him a unique outlook on life. While my humor is more satirical, he has been an influential figure during my formative years and someone I’ve tried to emulate often.

So coming back to my dream. I’m dreaming of getting on a train which looks suspiciously like the Eurorail (a trip to Europe needs to be a whole separate dream now!) and the compartment is practically empty. There’s an older couple sharing a cup of coffee, a mother and child reading a map and then sitting right in the middle of a compartment wearing a beret and scribbling something in a diary is Robin Williams!! I do a double take as I realize it’s him. I sidle over to him and ask if I can take the seat next to him. He gives me a toothy grin and says “Why of course! Why would you even ask me such a thing?” Thrilled I sit down and start chatting him up. It evolves into friendly bantering, tossing jokes back and forth, discussing the follies of life humorously. I simply revel in his company. I cannot believe my luck! I wouldn’t be this ecstatic if Jeremy Renner asked me out on a date and I think he is seriously hot!

Slowly I notice him starting to pack up and ask where he is headed. He looks up, gives me a melancholic smile and says “It’s time for me to go Señorita.” Just like that I realize this is a dream and Robin Williams is gone and I’m just meeting my idol in a fantasy. I stand up, hug him tightly and say “Thank you for inspiring me. I hope you are just as happy where you are going.” He waves at me, steps off the train and disappears into a fog. I wake up and reality comes crashing in. It was just a dream.

I remember the day I heard of his death. August 11th, 2014. Can’t believe it will be 2 years soon. I was saddened by his death and angered by the fact that he took his own life. A man larger than life….ending his life?! He looked so happy. Who knew what demons he was battling behind that smiling exterior. Who knew he was suffering from dementia and early onset Parkinsons. Comedians often use their stage persona to hide their inner turmoil.

His daughter, Zelda Williams wrote him a beautiful tribute. In it she said “the world is forever a little darker, less colorful and less full of laughter in his absence”. I cannot agree more but I’m sure he is somewhere in heaven or an alternate universe, cracking jokes at a roomful of people doubled over in laughter. Mr. Williams, you’re sorely missed but I will forever cherish this dream!

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