Letting Go…

Sometimes life feels like a test I didn’t study for. – Anonymous

I’ve never really expected life to be easy or fair. I’m an optimist but I’m also a realist. Most days I use humor and satire as my defense mechanism, so anyone looking in from the outside sees a happy person sans a care in the world. That’s a good image to have. A smile can hide a thousand tears.

Most people go through life finding friends, soul mates or life partners. Then every so often, a few of us get lucky and find that one person that ticks all those boxes and more – has the potential to be your best friend, confidant and someone you can look up to for the rest of your life. They understand you for what you are, encourage you to channel your strengths, applaud when you succeed and are that shoulder to cry on when you see no end in sight. You almost start to believe this is a permanent state of being.

I’m a strong believer of the fact that everything in life happens for a reason. My dad taught me that. I’ve come to believe now that people come into your life for a reason too. They may stay or they may move on. What they leave behind and what you cannot ignore, are the learnings from that interaction, however brief. I was one of the lucky ones! I had the briefest of encounters with someone I thought was a mirror of me yet very different. When you find someone like that you cling on oh-so-tightly. But life has other plans.

I grieve in silence, reminisce the good times and mourn what could have been. There is no bitterness, just a deep sense of loss. I want to prolong the moment but even I know it’s time to move on. Letting go is so much harder than staying on, waiting for something to transform into the original state you envisioned. Letting go requires that you not only be strong but have faith that the journey from here on will make you stronger.

I cannot change the past nor do I wish to. It made me who I am today and I am proud of it. I can however redefine my present to channel my future. Years from now when I look back on this post, on this day, I’m hoping I’ve become a stronger and wiser person, someone that can smile and say “Thank you for bettering my life”.

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